Add dried chiles to a large heavy-bottomed Dutch oven or stock pot and cook over medium-high heat, stirring frequently, until slightly darkened with intense, roasted aroma, 2 to 5 minutes. Do not allow to smoke. Remove chiles to small bowl and set aside. Alternatively, place dried chiles on a microwave-safe plate and microwave on high power in 15-second increments until pliable and toasted-smelling, about 30 seconds total. Transfer to a 2-quart microwave-safe liquid measuring cup or bowl. Add water and chipotle chiles, cover with plastic wrap, and microwave on high power until gently simmering, about 5 minutes. Remove from microwave and set aside. Transfer chiles and liquid to blender and blend, starting on the lowest possible setting and gradually increasing speed to high (make sure to hold the lid down with a clean kitchen towel or a potholder to prevent it from blowing out). Blend until smooth, about 1 minute.
Drain chickpeas, reserving liquid from can. Transfer chickpeas to a food processor and pulse until just roughly chopped, about three 1-second pulses. Set aside.
Roughly squeeze tomatoes through your fingers into approximate 1/4-inch pieces. Add to chickpea water along with any juices.
Heat oil in a large saucepan or Dutch oven over medium-high heat until shimmering. Add onions and cook, stirring frequently, until softened but not browned, about 4 minutes. Add garlic, cumin, and dried oregano and cook, stirring constantly, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add puréed chiles, soy sauce, and marmite and cook, stirring constantly, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add reserved chickpea/tomato water mixture and stir to combine. Add chopped chickpeas and kidney beans. Stir to combine.
If beans are sticking out of the top, add reserved kidney bean liquid until just barely submerged. Bring to a boil over high heat, reduce to a bare simmer, and cook, stirring occasionally, until thick and rich, about 1 1/2 hours, adding more reserved kidney bean liquid as necessary if chili becomes too thick or sticks to the bottom of the pan.
When cooked, add vodka or bourbon and stir to combine. Season to taste with salt and whisk in masa in a slow steady stream until desired thickness is reached. For best results, allow chili to cool and refrigerate for at least one night and up to a week. Reheat to serve.
Serve, garnished with cilantro, chopped onions, scallions, avocado, lime wedges, and warm tortillas as desired.
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